Speaking Your Feelings
When you hold your words inside and don’t express your feelings, the energy of these emotions is experienced in your body.
I woke up at 5:30am Thursday morning and I couldn’t breathe in. I needed help immediately! Off to ER where I received several inhaled medications that finally helped me to breathe.
How did I get there?
My husband had been having complications with his health and didn’t stop to rest and recover, which took him to ER 6 times in two weeks. I had become angry & frustrated that he wasn’t listening to his doctors and resting. I couldn’t watch him self-destruct. I walk away, didn’t speak what I was feeling or holding onto.
I didn’t want to spew my angry at my husband.
1st I developed a mild sore throat and within hours my chest felt like it was on fire. Anger = heat = the feeling of being on fire. The root of my emotion was seething, spitting fire.
I had stuffed my emotions and held onto my words to the point where my throat began to feel sore and then my lungs felt like they were being constricted. My body became sick fast. This was my body telling me that I needed to speak my truth and be honest with my husband.
How stress affects the body:
Your body releases the hormone cortisol to cope with the stress and over time your body experiences inflammation. This was surprising to me, it had only been hours. Or was it?
When you ignore your emotions or just stuff them away, the cortisol continues to remain in your body and eventually causes inflammation that leads to physical symptoms. I had suppressed my emotions.
Copaiba is described as the oil of Unveiling, it helps release feelings of shame, guilt, regret, self-loathing, less than, unworthy, suppressed emotions, rebelling. And fosters emotions of feeling worthy, self-aware, clarity, forgiven, redefinition of self, purposeful existence.
Apply using a carrier oil such as coconut. Apply on inner wrists and neck.
In my case the doctors concluded it was an Asthma attack. What I find interesting is that they didn’t consider what was going on in my life, my mental health. The doctors only assessed according to what they could see physically.
Why: Medical health professionals do not have the time to do an emotional assessment. Physicians are Doctors of Medicine and prescribe medication accordingly. As short-term solution, bandage, instead of a long-term solution.
I knew I needed to share with husband, how I was feeling. I didn’t want to feel physically unwell any longer. However, I didn’t take time to form my words or to speak to my husband. The conversation was not easy one. First, I said this happened to me because you didn’t take care of myself – the blame game – not a proper way to deal with MY OWN emotions.
Once I took more time to connect; anger was only the surface emotion. Under that I was afraid. Afraid if my husband died, my life would change exponentially. I’m not ready for him to leave this earth or make that dramatic change in my life. Once those emotions were acknowledged and released, my body began to heal.
What I learned:
Pause and take time to really listen to my body.
Be patient - time is a healer.
Listen deeply, the surface is only the beginning.
Journal, until I create a language where I share my feeling words.
Reach out to a friend or colleague.
