Addictions
Addiction:
“a compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behaviour, or activity.”
Psychological or emotional addiction is defined as a compulsion or perceived need to use.
Physiological reflect physical dependence in which the body adapts to the drug, requiring more of it to achieve a particular effect (tolerance) and eliciting drug-specific physical or mental symptoms.
In addition to drugs, alcohol or smoking, today’s society is seeing a different kind of addiction. Children and adults are addicted to social media, Facebook, YouTube, TV, Netflix, gaming and many more technically based formats.
Addictions have affected my family and me. I have been given approval by my husband to share his story.
As I sat in my chair on most Friday’s drinking two bottles of wine, I pointed my fingers at my husband and judged him for taking opioids. I was just discovering my truth and believed I knew how to “make” others follow my path. I also believed that I couldn’t do it alone and felt if I did, I would leave those behind who didn’t follow me. I would bully, coerce and demand, telling my husband I knew the right way to healing. I was nasty. Once I started to say nasty things to my son, I realized how destructive I was becoming and made a decision to stop drinking.
My drinking was a way to shove my emotions down and not deal with them. At first, my husband was mad that I had quit drinking. My husband was a homebrewer. He would make wine for me. It was one of the ways he would show me love. He tried so many ways to show me love and just stepped all over him and took everything he did for granted. Eventually, he saw the benefits and said: “That is the best thing you did.”
I would look at my husband, find and then say all the things I didn’t like about him and his actions. I now know he was a mirror of myself. I also had an addition. Who was I to judge him for the same thing I was doing to myself?
I had just found something so amazing that I wanted everyone to experience what I was experiencing. I didn’t realize that I couldn’t make others change. However, at times I also felt coerced and bullied by the person who was teaching me. I thought that’s how it was done. I was wrong!
Once I started to have gratitude for all the things that my husband does for me/us. I saw him in a different light. He began to change. On his own, he decided to get off of opioids. I respected him and asked if he wanted me to connect him to a support group. He did accept my support! My husband is now opioid-free. My husband says: “I overcame addiction, when I changed my thoughts, Maureen helped me with that.” There was a time I hated my husband. I now have fallen back in love with my husband. We enjoy each other’s company, spend many hours together. I am looking so forward to growing old with him and realizing our dream of walking down the sidewalk holding hands into our 80’s.
I now drink a glass of wine once in a while. I no longer drink to cover up my emotions. However, I cook and bake without sugar because I realize the negative effects it has on my body. So, why am I putting wine, which contains sugar into my body? Justifying the minimal use, and it’s only once in a while. Is it really? If I’m going to embrace this wholistic approach, then whatever I put into my body must be healthy. Is this self-sabotage?
“We are souls in human form.”
As humans, we learn by experience through hearing, tasting, seeing, smelling and touching. Through these experiences, we can choose to change our actions and make choices that support us to become healthy physically and emotionally, self-care.
Each of us has a different path. I believe we are here on earth to find our own paths. I know what’s right for me, and sometimes I don’t make good choices. As I learned to love myself, I love others. I often wonder what it’s like to walk in other people’s shoes. When I do that, I have empathy and compassion.
I now realize, the only person I can change is me! I can be a beacon of love, share that with the world. Accept others for who they are and where they are. I learn each and every day, experience the change, embrace the learning and enthusiastically look forward to serving others.
