Remember

For today, November 11th, we remember those who have fallen and those who have survived the horrific outcomes of fighting in the war.

My dad is a WWII veteran. I heard him scream out at night and cry from the depths of his soul. My mom was by his side doing her best to support and help him as he attempted to deal with the demons of the past.

As a child I was oblivious, as a teenager, his screams at night shocked me out of deep sleep. I would wake up with my heart in my throat and then I would hear him cry. I didn’t understand why. I was scared that my protector on earth was not able to protect himself, how could he possibly protect me.

My dad was trapped in a place where he didn’t know how or couldn’t express his emotions. After the war, he wasn’t given the support necessary to overcome his traumatic experience. Dad stuffed his emotions and kept them hidden deep inside where his only release was in his nightmares. Dad has not been taught to put his feelings into words or understand his emotions. He lives in fear and experiences severe anxiety.

In my late 20’s, I recognized that my dad was living in stress, or his words; nerves or nervous. My dad did not explain to the doctor what he was experiencing. He comes from a generation who are embarrassed and afraid of being judged if they talk about emotions or feelings. I received his authorization to contact his doctor. I explained to his doctor what I was observing and that he was a war veteran. The doctor said “I now understand and know how to treat him. My dad refused counselling, so he was and continues to be medicated.

In spite of the trauma, my dad took on the responsibility of marriage and raising two children. How could my dad live his life and from the outside appear to be coping so well? My dad somehow remained stable and able to provide a comfortable living for his family. Dad did not drink or use drugs to deal with his demons. Dad was home every night for supper after work and never in the bar washing down memories that he didn’t want to acknowledge.

On many Saturdays, I watched hockey on TV my with dad. I stayed home most Saturday nights waiting for a boy or some boy to call me for a date. We both had a love of ice skating, I figure skating and as a young boy, he would jump barrels on the frozen dugout on his family’s farm. I am so thankful for this time together; it is very precious to me now. I didn’t appreciate that when I was a teenager.

It is so very sad for veterans to live a life within the traumatic effects of war. Not knowing how to help themselves or know where to ask for help. I am so grateful for their strength, their service and their ability to survive. For because of them I have a lived life of freedom having many choices and pursuing my passion for helping others.

This time of remembering and gratitude is a time to celebrate what we have now.

A blessing and celebration for every year we have been given the opportunity to be alive

Celebrate for all those who couldn’t.

Celebrate like there’s no tomorrow.

Most importantly, celebrate the special you.

You are deserving!

You are loving!

You are amazing!

You are a beautiful soul!

Be grateful for the life you live and for the years you live in them

For not all have been given this opportunity.